Thursday, May 13, 2010

What were some things you didnt anticipate about being a parent?

When pregnant, what were some of your unrealistic expectations and what were some things about parenting you just didnt expect and got you by surprise?

Any advice for a new parent?What were some things you didnt anticipate about being a parent?
As a guy there are two things I did not anticipate while my wife was pregnant. The first is when the doctor held up our daughter, that I would turn to mush. It is an instant love that is like no other feeling in the world. The second thing I did not anticipate is what a good father I would be. Growing up I did not have the best father and I thought his negative influences would rub of on me, but I have taken all the negative things I did not look about my dad and have promised myself and my wife I would never act that way towards our daughter.

My greatest advice to you is that everyone thinks they know better than you do about parenting. Your parents are going to try to tell you techniques they used when you were a child, strangers and friends are even going to throw in their two cents. Only you and your husband or the baby's father know what is best for your child. There is nothing wrong with combining your values with your parents values of religion, school or family etc.. but you have to integrate them with your own.

Also, make sure you make time for yourself. I know my wife struggles with being a working mother. One thing about being a dad is that there is not the maternal instinct that a mother has. While I may love getting my daughter ready for bed, it is also very easy for me to spend a night out at the ballgame. Mothers have a very different mentality, their family becomes the most important thing to them and they sometimes forget to spend a night out with the girls or just take in a movie or get a manicure.

Good luck!What were some things you didnt anticipate about being a parent?
I thought Id have a GREAT baby who slept a lot %26amp; hardly ever cried... WRONG! I say, hope for the best, expect the worst!

I never anticipated just how much sleep I would lose, or how hard it would be at times.... But I also never anticipated how much I could love my little baby!

Its hard, but its totally worth it! Take LOTS of pictures- They grow so fast %26amp; you cant turn time back! The past almost 4 months since my son was born, I feel like the time has FLOWN by!!!
When I was pregnant, I wanted to be the mom who would breastfeed and pump when I went back to work. I had this vision of me offering my breast to him at lunch and as soon as I got home, and pumping after each feeding and in the early morning. That dream is gone. My baby chose the bottle over me and I'm just no good at pumping.

I also had visions of him smiling and laughing for me and loving me. He loves his daddy more. And he looks just like him too! Gone was the vision of him sharing my features.

I didn't expect all the skin son's dry, rough cheeks, rashy neck from spit ups, heat rash on his arms, diaper rash even though we change him frequently. He hardly wore those cute clothes I bought him and now he's outgrown them at only 3 months. *sigh*

Being a parent is hard work, but it'll be worth it all!
This will sound funny but, I honestly never thought Id be ';that mom'; in walmart with a screaming kid.....
I'll be honest~ When I was pregnant, I was focused on all of the ';fun'; times I would have w/ my son. He's now 16 months %26amp; we've had our share of ';not-so-fun'; times. What's going to happen when he hits terrible twos %26amp; his teen years?? lol:)

I guess you just have to take the good with the bad~ he's definitely worth it:)

Good Question:)
I never knew how much I would love his baby laughter. I hope I can still remember the sound and the joy it brings me when he is all grown up.
The lack of sleep. Don't get me wrong - I KNEW there wasn't going to be a lot of sleep, but nothing really prepares you for it in real life.

The way I got thru the first couple weeks was my husband and I slept in shifts. You need to recover from the birth and that involves sleep. He would take him for 5 or so hours, then I would. I am so glad we did it that way and if we have another child, will definitely do it that way again.

Like the other poster said, I was NEVER going to let my child sleep with us in the bed. That went out the window at 2 weeks. He just sleeps so much better that way. I did plan on breastfeeding and did for about a week, but stopped. For me, it just did not work out.

Another thing is you really can't prepare for is the feeling of responsibility you have for this little person. I don't mean this in a bad way at all. It's hard to even explain, you just do what needs to be done and you actually like it!

And the first time I heard my son cry - it was the best, most wonderful feeling in the world. Even better than hearing the heartbeat on the ultrasound. I burst into tears myself. I never expected that :)
I knew I would be tired. But when it came down to it, I was delerious from exhaustion the first month at least, probably longer. That threw me for a curve, for sure.
I was worried about not being a good mom or not knowing what to do and when to do it. I never enticipated on it being so hard, I knew it was going to be hard but not this hard. But it all worked out and I think that I am a good mom and eventually got used to how hard it was. Although at times I think that I am over protective but thats just the mom in me. It will all come to you when the baby is born it did for me. If you need help or advice there are people that can help you out such as your mom and other family or friends with children.
Well, I didn't anticipate the recovery time being so tough on me the first few weeks. I never really gave much thought to the routine you have to go thru every time you use the bathroom, and the hormone induced mood swings-- i cried a lot the first 2 weeks. But, this all goes away so fast, that the memory is just a fog-- he's 12 weeks now, sweet as can be, and my body is feeling pretty much back to normal. My son was very colicy, so i did a lot of walking around to sooth him in those first few weeks-- so the pounds dropped right off! i gained a total of 45lbs while pregnant, and now i only have 5 lbs to go till i'm back at my pre-preg weight. My advice is to accept help if someone offers-- don't worry that you look terrible, or the house is a mess- if a friend and/or relative offer to come over to help, or just to keep you company- SAY YES!! you'll be so glad you did. good luck!!!
How much FUN it is! Everyone tells you omg it's so much work and you will hate the late nights and the responsibility and blah blah, and it is work, but it's so much fun too! Everytime I see my daughter smile it makes all my bad days good again :) I know I'm going to make mistakes, I know I'm going to screw up on things, but I know I'm doing the best I can w/ the knowledge I have now. She will turn out fine and going into parenting knowing I'm not going to be perfect has helped a ton :) You will do great! Good luck
My expectations when I was pregnant were things like- ';I'm not going to give my baby a pacifier';, and ';My baby is only going to sleep in her co-sleeper, or her crib.'; Blah, blah, blah. When that baby comes out, you are willing to do ANYTHING to make her comfortable enough to stop crying. I would have let that baby sleep on my FACE if it meant I could get some sleep! LOL! My advice? Just let things happen naturally. Don't beat yourself up trying to maintain this ';I'm not going to do this';, ';I'm only going to do that.'; kind of attitude. Just do whatever feels right. Best of luck to you!

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