Tuesday, May 11, 2010

How can a parent force a child to have an abortion?

I found out my girlfriend is pregnant and her mother wants to terminate it. Me and my whole family wants the child as does the mother of the child. Her mother however wants it to be aborted. My mom even talked to her mom and said she would be the legal provider if necessary but her mom wont budge on this. She is still a minor and I am now 18 (however I was still a minor when we had sex.) What rights do I, the mother of our child %26amp; my girlfriends mom have? Also if you could please answer me how a parent could actually even think to force their child to terminate their own flesh and blood if she even says she loves their unborn child?How can a parent force a child to have an abortion?
No one can force another person to have an abortion, even if that person is the parent of a minor. Minors have the right to continue their pregnancy just like an adult does. No clinic or hospital will perform an abortion on someone who is kicking and screaming and refuses the procedure. It is understood that it is the pregnant woman's choice to make, and no one else can force her into anything.

I think your girlfriend's mother is likely disappointed and wants what is best for her daughter. Given that this was an unplanned pregnancy, she is a minor and she is unwed, an abortion would probably be for the best. I know if I had a teen come home with pregnancy news I would be greatly disappointed, and even moreso if they decided to continue the pregnancy knowing that this would greatly jeopardize their future. I would hope my teen would make the smart and responsible choice and I would guide them towards it.How can a parent force a child to have an abortion?
It is up to your girlfriend, and only your girlfriend. It is HER body. Her mother cannot, under any circumstances, force her to get an abortion. You cannot force her to have the baby. Neither of you have rights in this. Her mom is probably concerned about her future, not thinking about the baby involved. It sounds like a tough situation. I would explain your feelings to your girlfriend and explain why this is important to you. It will be her decision in the end.
Your Girlfriends mother can not force her to get an abortion. Only your girlfriend can make that decision, her mother can make it complicated and hard for her though. Stand by her and let her now you will be there. Ignore these people who say because your young means your not capable of raising a family, you are. I was sixteen when I had my daughter, nine years later she is still the best thing that ever happened to me. I was able to finish school and raise her on my own. It wasn't always easy, buy always worth the effort.
Her mother cannot force her to have an abortion. It is illegal.

So, if she doesn't want to have an abortion, she doesn't have to. It's that simple.

But make sure that's what SHE wants. Not you. Not your family. Her.

But shut up with your ignorant anti-choice crap. Abortion is a personal decision for every woman, and there is no evidence that a fetus is alive any more than your sperm is.
I have to ask How old is your girlfriend? There is alot into raising a family. I am glad that you are stepping up to be a father. Basically its your girlfriends decision. Her mom can disown her, and kick her out of the house and all that good stuff. so it is really thinking about how you two can raise this little baby. Just know that you are going to struggle and life is going to be very difficult for all involved. I wish you guys the best of luck.
her mother cannont actually force her to have an abortion, your girlfriend would have to speak to a doctor alone where she could express her doubts if she does not want one.

noone can force her to have an abortion. i think if your mother is willing to support you financially as you are both still in school thenyou should take that offer with open arms
She totally can't make her have an abortion. Call 1800395HELP or even your nearest Catholic Diocese. They have attorneys who could help.
Her mother can't force her to have an abortion (unless your girlfriend has been judged mentally incompetent/unstable by a court of law). She can have the baby if she wants.
As the father, you and your family have NO RIGHTS at all until a baby is actually born. Your gf's mother is trying to look out for the best interests of her daughter. Despite what your mom claims, your mom could withdraw support at any time. She has no legal obligation even if she agrees to it. The majority of teenage moms raise children in poverty. She knows this. The chances of you two still being a couple 5 years from now is very low. She knows this too.

Most married women who had kids before 21 will comment at 40 that they lost so many opportunities by having kids so young. I'm sure her mother is very aware of that.

I sympathize. Had I the support you and your mother have extended to your gf, I would not have lost my child to adoption. Adoption ruined 2 lives. I would have been better off to have had an abortion.
Your girlfriend's mother cannot bodily drag her daughter into an abortion clinic and demand that the doctors perform an abortion.

But I think you are speaking more to ';coercion'; than force.

Your girlfriend's mother CAN say ';I'll make you have an abortion and as you are a minor, I can do that.'; Doesn't make the statement true, but unless your girlfriend knows that, it is a form of coercion.

So are statements like:

';You will be a terrible mother and if you have this child, the State will take it right away because you are a minor.'; Not true.

';I will kick you out of this house. If you want to be a grown up, you can start being one.'; She also can't do this. A parent has to provide for a child until they are 18.

Basically, a parent can't ';force'; a child to have an abortion. But a parent can lie, pressure, coerce, manupulate and generally make a child's life miserable unless she has an abortion.

As the baby's father, you don't have any rights until the child is born. But you, and your parents, can help advocate for this girl and your baby. Also bear in mind that some parents, who think along the lines of your girlfriend's mom, can coerce and pressure their daughter to place for adoption without your consent. Father's rights are shamefully overlooked in this country and while it is illegal to place a child for adoption without consent of both parents (excluding cases where parental rights were terminated due to abuse/neglect), there are loopholes that unscrupulous people can exploit.

Most states have a ';Purative Father Registry'; where you need to declare to the state that you are the father of a child and plan to be involved with that child. It's an often overlooked, but very important legal piece. Protect your rights. Find out if your state has one of these and get your name on it. It will prevent your child from being adopted without your consent.

I would suggest that your girlfriend (maybe with your help and your parents' help) speak to a school counselor or another trusted adult authority figure to get some help and support. It may be that your girlfriend should move in with your parents.

Good luck.

Actually, I do agree with a lot of what the first answerer says- you need to take all of this into account in dealings with her mother, if you want to keep the peace.

However... 'forcing' (however that is defined) someone into having an abortion is a very cruel act- whatever the motivation for it. Of course, if your girlfriend is taken to a clinic and makes it clear that she wants to keep a baby I would be extremely surprised if they went ahead- I would also be surprised if this was legal, although I don't know.

She may well be very upset and disappointed at this moment in time. This may change once she has calmed down. If it doesn't, and her father is not able to weigh in on your girlfriend's side, then perhaps you can look into emancipation?

I am sure that in all honesty she is trying to do the right thing for her daughter. She does, after all, know what having a baby entails- it's not surprising that she is worried that her daughter is not in a position to do this or that it may harm her life.
Force, define force..

She cannot take her to an abortion clinic and demand they give her one.

But she is well within her rights to have an opinion on her daughter having one. And she can certainly influence her daughter in the way she wishes.

What rights do I, the mother of our child %26amp; my girlfriends mom have?

You have none, her Mother has none, only the Mother has any. Dependant on the age, her Mother still has rights to her Daughter.

Also if you could please answer me how a parent could actually even think to force their child to terminate their own flesh and blood if she even says she loves their unborn child?

Easily. I've been a parent for awhile. I love my Children, but I will not and repeat NOT raise my Grandchildren. They also will NOT be living in my home, and sucking my bank account dry. Yeah yeah, you'll support her, she'll get a job, sure sure. Your 18, she's a minor, low income earners. She lives at home, you still have your Mum fight your battles for you. Sounds like you've all put a lot of thought into this.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was 18, thank god. My mother was very, very vocal about how she believed I should get an abortion. However, my baby's father and his family, and even other members of my family, all stepped up for me and helped me out. Now that my daughter is born, my mother adores her, and I think she's a bit ashamed that she wanted to get rid of her, even though she would never admit it (stubborn as hell..). I think there's a way for your girlfriend to become emancipated, or to sue for the rights to her body, but that would most likely be difficult and costly. Your first course should be to talk to her mother, which it sounds like you've attempted, and then your second should be to talk to a lawyer.

How old is your girlfriend? When does she turn 18? Has she finished school?

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