Thursday, May 13, 2010

What if the child refuses to visit the non custodial parent?

A 15 year old has been alienated from the non custodial parent by the custodial parent nd manipulated that the non custodial parent is ';bad'; or not ';good enough'; and what not (false).


Either way. There is joint legal custody. Now the child refuses to visit the other parent. The legal papers set a visitation schedule. What what are the legal consequences for the non custodial parent if the child refuses suddenly to visit the non custodial parent





My feeling it's a setup.What if the child refuses to visit the non custodial parent?
Take it back to the judge and bring the 15 year old for their opinionWhat if the child refuses to visit the non custodial parent?
If there is true parental alienation involved, yes, I would be suspicious %26amp; contact my attorney. In my experience with this situation, the child (a teenager) refuses to see their non-custodial parent due to 1) that parent refusing to respect the child's decision to live with the custodial parent, 2) the non-custodial parent's insistance on continuing to try to manipulate %26amp; bribe the child into moving back in with them %26amp; 3) attempting to use the child in games with the custodial parent, even though the child sees right through these actions. Not to mention 4) the fact that out of a 30-day visitation with the non-custodial parent, the child got about 6 hours of one-on-one visitation. The rest was spent accompanying the parent on dates with their significant other (not a spouse, just a live-in) or at a friend's house when three was considered a crowd. The child in question has confronted the non-custodial parent 3 times about the distrust caused by these actions, but has been literally blown off. The non-custodial parent refuses to even acknowledge the child's concerns. I can't blame the child for not wanting to visit %26amp; put up with these circumstances.


In my humble opinion, both of these parents need to sit down with the child %26amp; discuss the child's feelings, the source of those feelings %26amp; face the reality that their divorce put this child in a position to choose between the two households. They each had a 50/50 shot at the child choosing their household. Since they put the child in that position, they should have been prepared to face the fact that they might draw the long straw. The ';losing'; parent needs to accept the child's decision %26amp; deal with it (unless the other parent's home is detrimental to the CHILD, not the non-custodial parent's ego). One PARENT divorced the other PARENT. It's unfair to expect the children to divorce them, too. The parents both need to grow up, deal with their issues %26amp; leave the child out of any left over angst. If this means 10 years worth of weekly counseling, then so be it. Whatever it takes to make sure the child's best interests are served.


As far as legal consequences for the non-custodial parent, I believe most states' custody laws demand that the custodial parent ';make the child available'; at the times outlined by the court's visitation schedule. I don't believe any state would approve of a parent ';hog-tying'; their child %26amp; forcing them to go somewhere that causes the child distress. If I were in that situation, on either side of it, I would make every effort to talk with my ex-spouse. If they refused, I would contact my attorney %26amp; see if I could get a court-ordered mediation to work out the situation. I would also ask my child what the problem was %26amp; if it were something I'd done, I would hope that I would be adult enough to face reality, accept responsibility for my own actions %26amp; go straight to the nearest psychologist's office for help.
I don't know about your state, but in my state the custodial parent is not allowed to talk bad about the non-custodial parent. It is part of the childrens rights to be able to live free of that sort of thing. And for the younger children, they are not allowed to refuse. Below is a quote from the standard visitation guidelines in Delaware from http://courts.delaware.gov/How%20To/Visi鈥?/a>
My guess is that the parent with visitation has to call the police. And then the child could get taken into custody for running away, or truancy. If it is the child's decision, it is the child's consequences.
Depending on what state the law is as of age 12 the child can choose who he/she wants to live with and see. You can probably force the issue in court but will that really be beneficial to the child. In time he/she will make their own decision on their parents. Just be honest with them when the time comes.
unfortunately for you if the child feels unsafe around you whether manipulated or not (theres a reason you didn't get custody I assume, by your choice or the courts). If the kid doesn't want to visit you and is afraid of you, no judge in their right mind is going to force the child to do so.
You can't make the kid go if he doesn't want to, no matter how crappy the reasoning is.
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