Sunday, January 17, 2010

What makes you secure as a parent your child will not be kidnapped?

I am asking this after reading in the parenting section. Everyone says let them run loose in NYC. Others say they can be at home alone as young as 9. Some people think its fine for the kids to go to a friends house without knowing that childs parents.What makes you secure as a parent your child will not be kidnapped?
Mine is still a toddler but I will give him freedom when he is older (like14-15) and will trail him from a safe distance to moniter his safety-you think your paranoid, I worked in social services for years my son will be known for his overprotective mama!What makes you secure as a parent your child will not be kidnapped?
I don't let my boys run around, without a group of friends. But I do have some reassurence, for my three boys take martial arts. Alex has a black belt, Mark a red, and Sam a green belt. And, they are normal hang out after school for sports anyways, so I always worry! But luckily, they are always with a group of friends, friends whom all have my cell number, in case they need to reach me, for anything, and I know their friends very well. And I trust that if, god forbid, that something did happen to one of my three, that they couldn't call me, than their friends would.

And we live in a realitvly same town, my base is in the next city over. So I know everyone (basicaly) and theywould call me as well.

As for the NYC people, I've been there, in recent years, on some of my travels for the Army, and those kids that run around, doing what ever they want to do, THEY are the ones doing crack, and other illeagle stuff. I DO NOT APPORVE OF WAHT THESE PARENTS ALLOW THEIR KIDS TO DO.
It's a good thing to be involved in your childs life. Knowing their friends and their friends parents.

When it comes to NYC it depends on the child, if they can handle the environment they will be fine. Remeber how grossly out of proportion the fear of abduction and crime etc is. The first is a very, very, very, very rare occurance. The second one a very rare occurance, especially for children. The dangers in big cites are the same as in small, the predominant one being traffic(and I do mean cars). Quite a few people argue that our fearful society, the parents application of the fear, is very harmful to children and I tend to agree with that argument.
NOTHING will ever make me secure about my child being kidnapped. It will forever worry me that something bad can happen to my child. I have to trust that the morals and 'smarts' I have taught my child will stick. I wouldn't let my child go on a bus or train at the age of 9 alone, nor would I let them wander around a big city. But if my child was staying at a friends house I would want to know where the house is, I would want to speak to the parents and I would want phone numbers. As for staying home alone I think 9 is too young... but as my child gets older different rules will have to be made depending upon how mature, trust worthy and responsible she is. And have faith that what I taught her will stay with her and guide her in the right direction.
I would never let my child go running around NYC without a parent. I live in a small town so, I don't have to worry about things like that. I don't think I am strict, but at the same time I would never let my child go somewhere without knowing who is going to be there and where they are going to be... and having contact numbers. And I wouldn't let my child stay at home alone until they are at least 11+ yrs old depending on how mature I think they are. Parents can definitely put their children at risk for these accidents.
My children would not run loose in NYC. Home alone at 9 is quit young but I was home alone from like 7 and babysitting. My mom didn't take good care when I was a kid. I will probably not leave my son home alone until like 12-13. I will always know who my kids friends are and I will talk to parent before the visit and hope there parents are the same way!!!!!! These are our kids parents need to wise up. The world is not safe and knowing whats going on is very important.

I am worried about my kids all the time. I don't know they will not get taken but I do the best I can to keep them with me and with family. My 6 year old know about strangers and about where to kick and how loud to scream and all that noise. How do you feel secure?!!!!!!
Everyone has to develope their own rules for their children. And it should be based mostly off of the childs maturity. My son is only 1, but if he displays maturity at age 10, I'd leave him home by himself, but only for short trips. work your way up. No matter how mature he is, I will want to know his friends parents. He can be mature but if the friends parents are doing anything immature that could get him in trouble, I wouldn't want him there. It depends on the kid.
nothing makes me secure. As a mom I live every day with the horrible realization that something are beyond our control. However, i think a lot of it is common sense. If your child is going to be spending time at a friends house at least call and talk to the parent once. Gage whether or not this person seems to have enough common sense/responsibility to leave them in charge of your child.
I'm secure in the knowledge that the chances of them being hit by a car or hurt in a playground accident are much greater than being kidnapped by a stranger or molested by a friend's parent. If the latter were really everyday occurances, they wouldn't be front-page news.
Because I won't be raising my kids in the USA. They'll be raised in my husband's country Saudi Arabia and they kill kidnappers in public by beheading in my husband's country. Plus I won't let my kids ever enter the USA.
I guess those particular parents are selfish bags of sh*t who never should have had kids. Just make sure to raise yours right if you have any, that's all you can do.
In NYC I would never let my child run loose! Maybe around my town as its not dangerous but I would always be careful and I am never Secure as such.
Good question. I used to believe in the safety of a small town, but did any of you ever hear about a kid name Sean Hornbeck? If not, read his story, it is AMAZING. Anyway, the man who kidnapped him from a small rural town, came from a small city town called Kirkwood. This man (Michael Devlin) went to school in another small town called Webster Groves. My mother was friends with Michael Devlin's brother when they were in school. He kidnapped Sean in 2002, and if it weren't for a kid who remembered the description of his truck when he kidnapped another child from a small rural town, Sean would probably still be kidnapped. This hit too close to home for me. I was then living out close to the rural area, and I grew up in Webster Groves, which is next to Kirkwood. Knowing the man's brother made it hit home even closer.

I've lost my trust in society in that respect. Unfortunately, I think I will be one of the many parents who now wait at the bus stop until the bus arrives, and arrives to pick up their kids at the bus stop before the bus gets there. There are a ton of parents who do this now. It is sad, I think. I remember walking to and from school with my sister and brother, sometimes by myself or with friends.

It is a shame that children cannot grow up as we did.

How will I help to conquer this? I was in the hospital a few months back and a nurse and I were talking. I have adopted her idea. She has a password. If anyone wants her son or daughter to go with them, they have to know the password. The password changes every time it is used, even if it's their older brother who uses it. She drills it into their heads (but not psychotically) and that is how she knows that if something happens to her and she sends someone to pick up her kids, not only will her kids know she sent them, she doesn't have to worry about them getting in the car with a stranger and being abducted. She also tells her kids to scream ';FIRE'; ';RAPE'; and other attention catching words, such as just start screaming every cuss word they know, if they do start to get abducted. That way people will look and know something is wrong.

Those are my ideas.
100% absolutely secure? I'm not.

Secure enough that I don't think it's worth keeping my kids in a bubble? The statistics make me that secure. About 100 kids a year are abducted and killed at the hands of a stranger (many more go missing, but the *vast* majority of those are runaways, lost kids, and kids taken by a non-custodial parent).

I wouldn't let my kids ';run loose in nyc,'; but i do let them run around in the neighbors' yards with friends in my safe suburban neighborhood, where it's considered a huge shocking crime if somebody's cell phone gets stolen when they leave their car unlocked. I don't leave my 9 year-old home alone, but I do let her go biking in the cul-de-sac I can see from my house when she's with her friends. I don't send my kids to a friend's house without having at least had a conversation with the parents and going in for a few minutes when i first dropped my kid off, but i don't require that i've been lifelong friends with the parents or made them fill-out a 20-page interview before i let my child play with their child.

underprotection is dangerous. overprotection can be, too. no kid is going to learn to look after themselves if adults don't gradually give them permission to have some age-appropriate freedom.
because the chances of a kid being kidnapped are so freaking small it is almost non existent (0.008%) in the U.S. Add to that the fact that I live in a low-crime area, I'm not divorced so I don't have to worry about non-custodial parent kidnapping and I don't have questionable friends. All that adds up to my kids being alot more likely to get hurt falling on a fork in the kitchen than being kidnapped.

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