assuming you are going to go to a professional, these are all reputable questions to ask them.
most of the answers depend on the anatomy and shape of your nose, how hard you sneeze, how high your nostrils are and such, your best bet would actually be to just go to your local piercing shop and just have a consultation with the piercer, they will then be able to look at your nose and tell you how visible it would be in these situations.
healing times, same with any piercing, 6-8 weeks with correct aftercare, but i will let you know that if you intend on wearing it down then flipped up while around your mom, it will take much much longer to heal as the constant movement will create inflammation and lengthen the time the fistula has to heal.
there are some places that will pierce with a retainer, which is often a piece of silver metal but shaped in a way that when flipped up, curves in so as to almost hug your septum so it does not flip down as easy. if you do get it pierced, it is suggested that you keep the jewelry, either retainer or curved barbell bent so it can be flipped up, in one position during the duration of the healing process so that it does not move unnecessarily and heals quickly.
tips: go to a professional. every nose has a ';sweet spot'; which is where piercers put a septum piercing, assuming yours is in a good spot, it should not hurt much as it is not cartilage but skin like that of the earlobe, but thinner.What are the chances of a parent seeing a flipped up septum silver circular barbell?
First off you can't just get it pierced higher because there is a certain place were they need to pierce it at. And how are you going to get it pierced if she says no? Are you planing on doing it yourself? Because if you are don't it's too hard of a piercing to do. If you do get it pierced it's not hard at all to hide unless she is going to be looking up your nose. I've never had mine get all ';gross'; but if I have a cold or something I don't put it up... otherwise it might.