Saturday, January 23, 2010

How do you deal with a mentally abusive parent?

I am 14 and have a very abusive mother. She sometimes also physically abuses me. She used to be an alcoholic but she is still mentally abusing me and is in total denial about it. My father has recently died and she seems to be taking that out on me. I can't get away from her because my family seems to believe her and running away is out of the question since we live in the middle of nowhere. I am too young to get hired and live on my own. Please Help!How do you deal with a mentally abusive parent?
Hi Jessie,

Sorry to hear life is so tough for you right now! Let me tell you a few things first. Your situation sounds a bit like my own situation when I was your age!

I lived with my dad in the middle of nowhere and he was an alcoholic who took his anger at my mother out on me.

Some things I did to get through the tough times till I could escape were:

1) I reminded myself every single day that what he had to say about me was not true. It was just his alcoholism talking.

2) When he hurt me I reminded myself that it was not about who I was at all. It was about who he was.

3) I did a lot of reading and took a lot of long walks.

4) As soon as I could escape, I did!

5) When I escaped I sought out some help for myself because I knew that I had been through some pretty tough stuff and knew that I had missed a lot of normal teenage stuff. Counselling was very, very helpful to get me back on track.

6) most important of all is I never gave up on me!

Hang in there Jessie! You can get through this and when you do you need to look back at it all once and thoroughly then having seen it from a different point of view and seen that you did well to cope with it all and that you were very resourceful to manage things as well as you did you will be able to let it all go and just move on.

Best Wishes for your future.How do you deal with a mentally abusive parent?
Tell somebody! - like another adult you can trust---- ask your Mom about therapy as an option for her or the both of you- grief counseling could help
You could call the police and get her arrested.
Talk to a teacher at school. Try to get this book. 'How to cope with difficult parents' by Windy Dryden.

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