Sunday, January 17, 2010

How do divorced parents deal, when one parent wants to force religion on the children and one does not?

I am a spiritual person, but I am very against forcing one specific set of religious beliefs down people's throats.

That being said, it is my job as a mother to teach my children to be kind, caring and considerate people. My kids and I volunteer our time, we donate food, clothing %26amp; toys to those who are less fortunate, and we rescue homeless animals, etc.....

So please do not tell me I am not a good parent.

Thanks.How do divorced parents deal, when one parent wants to force religion on the children and one does not?
i agree with you. you complete me have i told you that?How do divorced parents deal, when one parent wants to force religion on the children and one does not?
That's hard, especially if the religion is one that teaches hate or things that are totally crazy.

If the church is a normal church then it shouldn't be a problem. Talk to the kids, explain that they will have a choice as they grow older, but that they should be respectful of their dads beliefs and at least learn about the religion, that they don't have to accept it.

If it's a crazy, everyone else is going to hell, kind of church it's harder because they don't teach love and tolerance, they teach hate, and can scare children when they are told that mommy is going to hell because she doesn't believe.

I would just talk to your children about your beliefs, explain how you feel and that as they grow they will be able to form their own beliefs, but that they will have to respect others choices to form beliefs also.

I wish you luck:) My husband is a non practicing Catholic and I beg him to take the kids to church, lol. I'm a Pagan so I just teach them at home.
I sympathize with being a divorced parent. This alone can be a challenge. It is the role and responsibility of parents to teach their children, especially when it comes to spiritual things. I'm curious about your use of the word ';force';. As a parent you are the boss. You are responsible for them. They need direction. It sounds like you are being a great example to your children. While you can't keep the other parent from teaching their beliefs you can share what you believe and why. Wisdom is proved by her actions.
Well unfortunately there isn't much you can do to stop the other parent but let the kids know it's ok to explore other religions even if the other parent disagrees. You should get information on other religions and let them figure it out. Tell them that granted while they live in the other parents house they are kind of stuck but once they are 18 they are free to make up their own minds. No one should ever be forced with religion. I believe in God but not organized religion. This doesn't mean I am going to teach my son that that is how it has to be. When the time is right I will give him options and information regarding everything. I'm not one to tell him to do as I do. You're a great parent. Good luck.
I feel it's a very important part of a child's education, they will make up their own minds soon enough so I tried to expose my kids to some structured religion when they were growing up. I am a very spiritual person as well, I respect peoples opinions and their right to their own beliefs, but have very little patience for those who will mock God and those people he provides so much hope too.

I would imagine the situation will work itself out to answer your question.
A child has two parents and both should share with their children the things that they love, support or believe in. There is no such thing as forcing religious beliefs on someone. What you choose to believe is your own choosing. However, minors are under their parents guidance. Good works are by definition ';good'; however they do not replace the faith.

You stated that you ';teach my children to be kind, caring and considerate people.'; By being tolerant of your ex-husband's spiritual life you are only adding to the good will you create when you do your good works.
When you think about trying to shield them from ANY belief that isn't're guilty of doing the same thing that you speak out against.

You're definitely doing the right thing by teaching them the spiritual aspects of life, and it sounds to me like yours is a very admirable way to live, but you should allow them exposure to other belief systems, and let them make their own decisions about it...and trust me...eventually they WILL.

There are MANY people who were stringently raised with a specific set of beliefs, and practiced a specific religion, being told that all others were false...and went on to choose the secular path anyway (myself included). It's only through experience that anyone can choose their own truth about it.
Thats kinda hard to answer, you could do all those things such as helping people and donating but you dont have to be religous to do good things but its good because Religion teaches us how to be a better person, if it would make things easier your children and both parents, they dont need to be religous but you could sit them down and teach them so they have knowledge of religion beliefs and also dont need to go to a sacred place either a temple or a church.

i hoped i helped :)
just as long as the kid doesn't mind going, i'd just let them go ,and be honest about your beliefs, too. and just keep doing what your doing.

but as soon as the kid says they don't want to go to church, i'd be right there by their side fighting for them to not have to.

my daughter went to church and got all into it with her boyfriend for a while, and then she realized that god supposedly hates gay ppl, and now she's come to her senses again.
you CAN';T force anything on a child, it will just make them rebel.

if they kid is old enough, they can make there own decision.

if they are not old enough then you have to wait until they are.

It's no small wonder that I love my wonder kitty!


P.S. Your question answers itself: You divorce the other parent.

*pets nice kitty and doesn't pull kitty's tail this time*
Forcing children to go to Sunday school makes children cry.

Studies show it also makes the babby Jesus weep.

you have to respect the other parent!!

it will be a good balance in the end...... it is not your place to take this away from them either!
That is a really tough question. My hubby and i are dealing with that, as he isn't a religious person at all. I am a spiritual person, and slightly religious as well, but we have agreed that it is up to her. She is only one, and if I happen to want to go to church or anything like that, there will be no fight if i want to take her. Kids deserve to make up their own mind, and if we dont let them explore, they will never know what to decide and what is in their hearts. My husband has his views, and I have mine. Neither one of are completely and totally religious, but we do have different opinions. We will both talk with her when she is old enough and wants to know our opinions.

Btw, you are doing a great job, teaching your kids to help out when they can. That is what a parent is supposed to do. Guide your children in the direction of being kind and caring for others. If we all cared for eachother a little more, and offered a helping hand everytime we could, the world may not have so many problems.
Ideally, it's best to discuss religion BEFORE getting married and having kids. If your ex is very religious, you may want to consider allowing him/her to take the kids to Church/Temple/whatever.

People who are religious see teaching their children to be religious as their primary responsibility as parents. I am a religious person, and passing on my religion to my kids is my utmost responsibility. If your ex-spouse wants to do that, try to be supportive and not undermine his or her efforts. You can certainly offer your opinions to your children, but please be respectful of their other parent's beliefs.

Divorce is hard on families. Please try your best to not add yet another conflict to the family.

My husband was not raised in a religious family, and I was. Before we got married, I explained to him that it was very important that my children go to church every week, go to Sunday School, pray each day, read the Bible, etc. He's fine with that. He may not buy into my religion, but he sees no harm in the children having a religious upbringing. I'm sure that whne our kids are older, they will have many conversations about what he believes. For now (my kids are little) he goes along with their religious training. Although he is not a religious man, he does think that the 10 Commandments are a great guide to live a decent life, and that the Bible has many excellent moral lessons. For now, that's enough for me.
religion SUCKS

you do good for others with out being told what to believe in.

Nothing wrong with that.

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