Wednesday, January 13, 2010

How to stop a parent from unwittingly sabotaging a child?

This is a parent who is not tactful. This parent will paint her child in very weak, gloomy, pitiful ways, hoping other people will feel pity and support and help the child. This is backfiring because this child is being disrespsected by other people because of what this parent is saying about this child. How to stop this parent? How to make this parent to be tactful?How to stop a parent from unwittingly sabotaging a child?
The first thing you would have to do is convince the parent in question that you understand why they do what they're doing. Now, this is not what it seems. For instance, if they truly have malicious intent... you don't point that out. Point out all of the GOOD reasons why they might be doing what they're doing.

Once you can point out the good reasons they do the things they do, or convince them that they're doing things for the right reasons, and seem like you think they're a good person you can move on. This first step is often the hardest of convincing people of anything, but you have to earn their trust and respect of your opinion by first respecting them even on the same subject.

Next, don't point out flaws as absolute. ';Doing this, while perhaps in the interest of your child for X reason..., i FEEL.. MAY cause this bad side-effect. If that's the case, this could be harmful for your child.'; They key is getting them to question themselves, not just listen to what you have to say.

Still, depending on the circumstances this can be extremely difficult, if not impossible to do. Some people are just conservative in nature. In 'conservative' i mean unwilling to accept change even when there is substantial evidence that they should. People fear change, parents too. Also, some parents do have malacious intent... which is rather hard to get around. If they're jealous of their child... other than simply battling jealousy... your best bet would be to convince them, -indirectly-, that they should be jealous of other people's great parenting instead, for instance. That way they'll try harder to care for their child instead of pull them down. You'd be surprised how much parents do this, really... How to stop a parent from unwittingly sabotaging a child?
Just talk to the parent, tell them what's happening and the effect of their actions. They dont know they are doing something wrong until it is pointed out to them.
Child protection services.
make the parent read what you wrote and answers questions afterwards

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