Sunday, January 17, 2010

How does one stop a parent form spanking her two and a half year old daughter too often?

What advice could be given to the mother?

How would the child be taught without spanking her so often.How does one stop a parent form spanking her two and a half year old daughter too often?
It depends on who you are to the mother and how receptive she would be.

My guess is that without her asking you for help, she would not be very excited about the offer of suggestions.

Do you have kids at a similar age? You could lead by example if they are playing together. Catch the issue before the other mother and correct both kids similarly. Maybe done enough times she would see other methods of discipline.

You could also share a story about how you had an issue with your kid (something you have seen her have) and talk about how frustrated you were but that your child was not responding to spanking and you tried something else which worked so much better, with a little work of course.

My guess is that after a while the spanking is not doing any good or getting the results desired by the mother and she is getting more and more frustrated, which lessens her ability to think of other alternatives, and she may be in a situation where everyone around her does the same thing.

How about trying to find a article talking about discipline and how something else works better than spanking and why it works to give her something to believe in.

If you do not have kids you are going to have a very hard time talking to her because you will not have credibility, no matter how grounded in reality you may be. She will not believe you have any idea what she is going through.

Be careful. If she is a friend, tread lightly or you may loose a closeness. If the child is not in danger it is her business and she will probably not take to advice not requested.

A good friend told me that once you have kids, your friends change because you begin to identify with those who have similar rearing patterns and beliefs as you do. I have found this to be true.How does one stop a parent form spanking her two and a half year old daughter too often?
You can ask her what she expects the spanking to do .

Ask her how she would feel being spanked.Would she feel love or mistrust ?

Why does her child seek this negative attention ? Is the child not receiving any positive attention.

You can buy her a book or have her sign up for a parenting class.
You mind your own business...that's what you do.
Try using time-outs. They can be very affective. But be prepared to start ignoring, they will completely shut you out on their first punishment.
Is it you your talking about or someone else? If its someone else, there is not much you can say or do. Sometimes I wonder if more parents were spanking their children, it would not be a better world :)
Stop spanking completely. If the mother can't control it, she's spanking for the wrong reasons - because she's angry. I would also tell her to get into some anger management and parenting classes to learn some healthier ways to handler her toddler's behavior.
My parents only spank when my siblings do something really bad or time out didn't work

spanking for every little thing (or really hard) is abuse though



I was spanked, my older siblings spanked and we didn't fell unloved or whatever it just helped us realize we shouldn't do this or that
You don't. As much as it hurts, this ain't your issue. Keep your nose out of it.

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