Wednesday, January 13, 2010

How does an aging parent that lives with a traditional family affect the whole family?

How is the dynamic of a nuclear family changed when an aging parent lives with the family? How is it changed when the aging parent needs special care and attention from their children, who are raising families of their own in the same household?How does an aging parent that lives with a traditional family affect the whole family?
i agree with bopdaddy.....nuclear family doesnt mean we should not respect and take care of our aging parents when they need us most.How does an aging parent that lives with a traditional family affect the whole family?
I think it has a lot to do with the attitude of the aging parent. If the parent was forced to sell his/her home after the death of a spouse and move in with their children, they may have a hard time adjusting. If on the other hand, the aging parent is an agreeable, grateful and unselfish type of person, he or she would be a joy to have in the household. The grandchildren would really reap the benefit of a kind and loving grandparent. Even when that grandparent began to need special care, it would be less a burden if that person had a great attitude.
Very much depends on the family dynamics, nuclear or not. Which depends on the family's past of course; including several generations past. This arrangement seems to work okay in some LDS families I have observed, also in Chinese/Asian families. It would not work with my bunch, but we live not far from each other. As they say ';it is the way it is'; and I accept it. In the meantime, several other dependent relatives who need it, are being closely monitored by a family member.
It puts some stress on it, of course, but most folks buck up and do what needs to be done. The family bond and responsibility goes both ways in the family tree and, at least in my family, the examples of what to do and how to handle it were already there.

The key is to get everyone involved as much as they want to (and need to) be and not try to take on all responsibility yourself. It will be pretty awkward at first and then always a little awkward as roles are defined and redefined that are very different from what everyone has been used to. Schedules need to be set up and changed. Responsibilities and 'chores' doled out. Compromises made... it is a lot like taking in an exchange student, or an unexpected birth, or a 'foster child'.

I like the closeness and love my family. I like having them around me as often as I can. I would not wish it to be any other way. I think it enriches it and wish my house were big enough to fit my entire family and a large part of the world which, for technical reasons only, is not.

As long as they don't drink the end of the milk without telling me. :)
Depends of the level of love in the family

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